Online Dating Tips: How to Break the Ice With the First Message

"Speak so I can see you." Have you ever heard this phrase? In matters of online dating first messages, it becomes especially relevant. If you find a nice person on the site and are already fantasizing about a happy future together, stop and start small – beginning with the perfect first message on a dating app can hook a potential partner. What you write in your online dating opening message will largely determine whether or not your conversation will start and how far it will go. Feeling nervous? Don't!

online dating tips

Here are five tips to get you started – conversation icebreakers:

1. A simple "Hi" never works

Remember the golden rule of good ice breakers for texting: never use phrases like "Hi!" and "How are you?" You will immediately be lost in a sea of hundreds of similar messages and not receive a response. Of course, it is worth saying hello to a person and letting them know about your existence. But instead of a simple "Hi!", a great first message to a boy would be "Hi! I like your motorcycle photo, my father used to have one, it was so cool! Do you ride it a lot?" Use your imagination, don't be afraid to be funny or weird. Remember that dialogue is an exchange of information, and a simple greeting does not carry any information.

2. Fewer questions, more statements

This is a paradoxical thought: we’ve been taught that the more questions we ask when chatting, the livelier the dialogue will be. But not all questions can be the best online dating icebreakers. If you ask the wrong question, the conversation will come to a halt, or the person won’t want to communicate at all. Try following the advice of the famous pick-up guru Mark Manson, the author of Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. Instead of asking – assume. For instance, when you see a girl’s photo where she’s in good shape and wearing a stage costume, instead of "Do you like to dance?", say "I always wanted to learn how to dance; I like that dancers are such liberated and strong people, it is admirable." This hidden compliment and your attention to detail will make a great first message to a girl. Discussing hobbies will be more interesting than boring “Yes/No” games.

3. Learn the profile

Before starting a conversation, carefully study the user's profile. What pictures do they post? What do they write in the interests and bio column, how old are they, what city are they from? The more details you gather, the more conversation leads you'll have. All people like to feel important and exciting. If you show that you carefully studied a person’s profile, this will make you appear very endearing.

4. Do not cross the line

First of all, this applies to men: willing to seem cool, they often start communication with banal compliments or vulgar offers. That shouldn’t be a secret: no woman in the world will be happy with the "You have such juicy lips!" message. If you want to compliment her, do it gracefully. Write "You have a beautiful photo, you must have taken it with a professional photographer. Such an elegant play of light and shadow!" or "You have brilliant eyes, I think I could have very lively discussions with you." Remember that, first of all, your interlocutor is a person. Show some respect.

5. Be yourself

Don’t try to jump over the moon and build yourself into a brutal macho man or sultry beauty. Sincerity is one of the best ice breakers for dating. Don't try to come up with fanciful questions or high-brow jokes if you don't use them in real life. Remember that the main goal of your message is to break the ice, get to know, and possibly start a relationship with the person you like. Therefore, you shouldn’t put on a mask and try to seem cooler according to some arbitrary standard. You are worthy of sympathy and love just the way you are!

Online dating first message examples

"Hi! You wrote in your profile that you love cinema. My favorite director is Quentin Tarantino. Do you like his movies?"
"Hello, Mike! Usually, I'm embarrassed to write first, but something about your face is very trustworthy, and I couldn't help writing. Do you want to meet?"
"Hi! You have a photo of the Coliseum in your profile; I was in Rome, such a nice city! Do you travel a lot?"
"Hi! You seem really familiar. Did you by any chance go to the XXX production at the XXX theater last Thursday?"
"Hi, Kate! I looked at your profile and it seems to me that you are a very interesting person. Would you like to meet?"
"Hi! My name is Mike, it's my first day on this site and I came across your profile, maybe it's fate?"

FAQ

What is the best first message on a dating app?

Don’t just write "Hello! How are you?" Come up with a funny joke or compliment their profile picture, so you're more likely to get noticed.

Who should write the first message in an online dating app?

Forget the rules! If you like a person, feel free to write. People prefer sincerity, by showing interest, you thereby interest a potential partner.

How to break the ice at the beginning of a conversation?

To avoid awkwardness at the beginning of correspondence, try to find common interests. Read the user profile: there is sure to be a lot of helpful information about their hobbies and habits that you can talk about.

What to write to a woman on a dating site?

Give a nice compliment, but don't be intrusive. If you have a good sense of humor, try to make a joke - this will set you apart from the rest of her chats.